Veterans Day

I am the wife of a military man. I live and breathe a lifestyle that my husband is just as much married to as he is to me. A government sponsored three-way, if you will. The Armed Forces are the 'third party' in our marriage and it's just part of who we are. We're more than okay with it. And I mean that in the most genuine of ways, because if you know me, you know I thrive on adventure and excitement. I live for the beats and breaths that land just off-center. Gray areas speak to me. It's the outside-the-lines details of an otherwise ordinary, mundane life that set my heart on fire. And my husband does that for me. He excites me and brings me on adventures that I'd never have if not for him.

And so, on days like today, when we honor the Veterans who have served our great land, my heart beats a bit faster for the man who puts his duty to serve right alongside his duty to his family. His service is just as important, and sometimes, it takes priority above all else. And for a feisty girl like me, that isn't always met without resistance. Do I stomp my foot when it's time to move? Sometimes. Do I cry onto his shoulder or into my pillow when it's time to say goodbye to yet another forever friend? You bet your butt I do. My heart has broken more times than I can count. But how lucky am I to have people to miss? Heartstrings that stretch? And people in my life worth crying for? I'll tell you, I'm luckier than I deserve and more blessed than I can believe most days.

But it isn't all glamorous. It isn't all jet-setting and new locales and tuition reimbursement and healthy housing allowances, like many people think it is. My husband's chosen duty comes with sacrifices that many couldn't handle. My husband has served in combat zones. He's flown to parts unknown on a moment's notice to serve and protect our country. He has also committed to being a Casualty Notification Officer. This means he leaves the comfort of our home at any hour, day or night, to deliver the very worst possible news to a family. News that tells them that their service member has perished. And he does this with a steadfast stoicism that I stand in awe of. He presses his dress uniform, polishes his shoes, prepares his mind, kisses his wife and kids goodbye and goes off to change another family's world forever. And he does this because he knows how he'd want his family to receive the same news if it were, God forbid, his turn to pay the ultimate price. As he leaves, I always try to hold it together to say goodbye. I kiss him and assure him that I'm praying for everyone involved the entire time, but I'm not doing the dirty work. I'm not seeing the deepest, ugliest sides of combat death and he is. He does. And he will continue to see it with a heart that somehow withstands it.

While he was deployed to a combat zone several years ago, he had several very close calls with his own life. He survived each of them, but not without immense loss of people he loved and served alongside. He knows loss and death in an intimate way that I simply do not. And he handles it in a way that could only be described as commendable. As I've sat stateside, wracked with worry during a blackout of communication, he has lived these horrors in real-time and I can only imagine how he feels still, to this day. But his duty and commitment to serve see him through it. Can you imagine having that kind of tenacity? I can't and it makes me even more appreciative that he does.

But I want to remind you that my husband is not alone. He serves with so many incredible people who have taken an oath to protect you and me at all costs, up to and including the loss of their own life. Can you do that? I struggle to imagine it, despite being marrying to a person like this for over 15 years now. So today, I want you to think about the Veterans in your life and the ones who are unseen. The ones who have died in service to our country and the ones who have been injured. The ones who struggle with PTSD and night terrors and battles that we know nothing about. The ones who have missed entire years of their children's lives and the ones who have never met their children at all. The ones who fought in a war that no one supported and came home to scorn rather than accolades. And the ones who will still step up to serve our country in a voluntary military that continues to make a draft unnecessary. These people are doing a job that you won't have to. Think about that and let it permeate your conscience. Never abandon your gratitude to our service members, past and present. Support them, thank them and appreciate them every day of the year. Because they are working to protect you every day of the year, every hour of the day, whether you're awake or asleep. I promise you that they've got the watch, but you need to promise to always have their backs, too. And I thank you, from the bottom of my milspouse heart.

Shown here is my own Veteran with his children. He attended a special program at the kids' school today, where they honored our service members and shone a light on what they do. He got to read in our son's classroom and answer questions about his career. And I sat on the sidelines proudly watching it all, just like I always have and always will. God bless the USA and God bless our Armed Forces!