What motherhood means to me...

Today is National Sons and Daughters Day, so of course I’ve got to share mine!

Parenting these two children has been the greatest joy of my life. They’ve taught me so much about the world and my own ideas about life and faith and tenacity and grace. I see things from a variety of perspectives because of them and they teach me new stuff every day. God is so incredibly good to give me this priceless gift and opportunity, so I work every day to be worthy of it. And I pray daily that I’m enough for them.

Before I became a mother, I had big ideas about how it would be. I had set notions of what raising children would entail. And in spite of having earned two master’s degrees in early childhood education, I was grossly misinformed. There is no manual for this because no two children are the same. And you don’t really, truly understand that until you’re knee-deep in the trenches of parenthood, do you? Being a mother is the single-most, all-encompassing, thrilling-but-exhausting, terrifying-yet-exhilarating role of my entire life. I try hard every day to be the best mother I can be for these two amazing children, but I’m sure not perfect. I yell. I sometimes swear. I make the wrong choices and I white-knuckle it when I don’t know which direction is up. I parent on my own when I need to, but still make room to parent alongside their father most of the time. Co-parenting is sometimes a feat in and of itself, isn’t it? Different ideas and goals can send even the strongest partnership into choppy waters, but as long as we keep our eyes and our hearts on these children, we can do it. We can make it work because we love each other and we love this beautiful, chaotic life that we’ve created together. Isn’t that kind of love amazing? I stand in awe of it every day, even when I feel like I might lose my mind. Even when I’m tired and cranky and just craving a moment of quiet. Even when I’m lying in my bed thinking about going in to hug my babies because I miss them *that* much. Even when I look at my husband and see each of my children reflected in his kind eyes and distinct features. Love like that is worth fighting for and working your ass off for and giving thanks for and sacrificing for. And at the end of the day, I think to myself, ‘Damn, girl, you’re blessed in a way that you scarcely deserve, but appreciate in a way that defies articulation. And don’t you ever, ever forget it.’